At the onset, I would just like to say that ‘This is a work
of non-fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are
either the outburst of the author's real life experiences or the result of
author’s observation used in a non-fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual
persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely not so coincidental’.
Firstly, I have absolutely nothing against arrange marriage
(not that I have any other option). It’s a tradition which we all have grown up
with, only to know how torturous it gets with fleeting time. Though, there’s been
an evident evolution from the chai cups and trays at home scenario to coffees
and waffles in the café, but there are some things which you really can’t get
away with. For the ones who are married can sympathise, and the ones who are
yet to kiss the frog, are living it and how. And the ones who are you yet to
enter the market, my condolences are already with you babies!
Let’s have a look at the 5 types of men/guys you will or
would have already come across, adding the drama to your otherwise dull
and boring life!
1. The one who stalks you. Right in front of
you
All of us have met this bunch of
‘Sherlocks’ at some point in life, but how about the ones who stalk you right
when you are sitting across the table? Sending you a follow request and asking
you to follow him back on Instagram, Facebook and why leave LinkedIn also. All
of this on your 1st date. Yes, such self-proclaimed luminaries
exist. He does nothing, but adds to your regret of meeting him, which you
didn’t want to anyway.
2. The over-excited hormone
He’s the one who loves to be that extra.
All of us love gifts, undoubtedly, but when someone gets you gifts (mind you –
Zara bags and clothes), he’s already got the wedding bells ringing in his ears,
eyes, mind and everywhere else (pun intended). You don’t need such kind of
desperation in life.
3. The time-difference detector
An arrange marriage process is outright
incomplete without meeting an Amreeki return. You know it’s ‘time’ to leave,
when he tries to shut his wrist watch alarm which you didn’t even hear, because
the poor soul forgot to change the time zone. Can we please get a little better
and classier at bragging here without the pseudo accent which is miraculously
developed in a span of few months?
4. The human timetable
He has a specific hour dedicated to eat,
sleep, breathe, poop and everything that can possibly fit in his professed
schedule. He calls you when you are 5 minutes late in replying to his messages
to check if you are alive or maybe he is just not used to this kind of unpunctuality.
Are you ready to transform your life into a revolutionary calendar?
5. The shy baby
This little nervous and shy baby can confuse
you, as you may not know is he really shy or just not interested. His shyness
can put any Bhartiya Nari to shame. Get ready for some awkward silence and eye
rolling moments. It’s time to strike a conversation and make him feel
comfortable, yeah!
Well, these are just some of the
experiences we’ve had (my best friends and I), and I know the list just doesn’t
end here. So ladies, do share your fun
arrange marriage stories and let’s get an entertaining discussion rolling. For all
the men out there, no hard feelings!
